Perhap's a time-out is all i need
As everything springs forth to life, everything that ever existed in one's lifetime will wither too.
Words, memories, laughter and tears even trees, clouds, the magnificence of the sky, the beautiful unforgiving blue seas, everything that was once flowing and enduring and alive will one day be laid to rest. Life taking form in the minutest or the grandest will one day seize to exist, to rise, to endure to be patient, to be loving and to be kind. It is because life in all its grandeur, mystery and overwhelming beauty is after all, boldly and ferociously FAIR too, not just to the deserving but to all.
A part of me died. I don't know when, I don't know why. I just know and a realization as strong as this has never occurred to me before. A part of me perished. I stopped looking at life the way I used to be. I stopped chasing the sun, I stopped gazing at the stars. I stopped writing for heaven's sake. I seized to cry good tears, now, I only cry to accept the fact that things, people, memories and even a seemingly mundane situation can't be changed. That at one point, you can't be allowed to dream, to soar, to wander and touch trees, dance in the rain, to touch creatures, to hug animals, to embrace and smile at strangers, even to plainly, openly, abruptly express affection.
At one point, you become the cold slab of stone that you once asked to be.
A part of me may have died but a part of me became as hard and polished as a stone; shielding itself from the rancor hidden amidst the soft flowing stream that you thought life would be. The life I have gone through in this very significant chapter of my life; the mass and pieces of poignant memories, the people I loved and lost, the dreams and chances that slipped off, all of these created a whole new paradigm infused in me, that walks with me, that reminds and nags at me. Unwelcoming, private, complacent, cautious and attempting to be logical, striving to be focused and driven, old, ambitious and fearless-- just a few traits I have seen emerged in a persona I am so estranged of. A persona overpowering the fleeting, wandering, cloud-chasing, tree-hugging, happy-when-I-am… me.
Maybe I just need a time-out and everything I wrote here will be just another interesting chapter in my time-worn journal. I always say, the sun shines the brightest after every storm, this period of exhaustion will soon be buried. The path is long, there's life and light waiting for me. It will be a long journey and life's road is not paved with diamonds.
Words, memories, laughter and tears even trees, clouds, the magnificence of the sky, the beautiful unforgiving blue seas, everything that was once flowing and enduring and alive will one day be laid to rest. Life taking form in the minutest or the grandest will one day seize to exist, to rise, to endure to be patient, to be loving and to be kind. It is because life in all its grandeur, mystery and overwhelming beauty is after all, boldly and ferociously FAIR too, not just to the deserving but to all.
A part of me died. I don't know when, I don't know why. I just know and a realization as strong as this has never occurred to me before. A part of me perished. I stopped looking at life the way I used to be. I stopped chasing the sun, I stopped gazing at the stars. I stopped writing for heaven's sake. I seized to cry good tears, now, I only cry to accept the fact that things, people, memories and even a seemingly mundane situation can't be changed. That at one point, you can't be allowed to dream, to soar, to wander and touch trees, dance in the rain, to touch creatures, to hug animals, to embrace and smile at strangers, even to plainly, openly, abruptly express affection.
At one point, you become the cold slab of stone that you once asked to be.
A part of me may have died but a part of me became as hard and polished as a stone; shielding itself from the rancor hidden amidst the soft flowing stream that you thought life would be. The life I have gone through in this very significant chapter of my life; the mass and pieces of poignant memories, the people I loved and lost, the dreams and chances that slipped off, all of these created a whole new paradigm infused in me, that walks with me, that reminds and nags at me. Unwelcoming, private, complacent, cautious and attempting to be logical, striving to be focused and driven, old, ambitious and fearless-- just a few traits I have seen emerged in a persona I am so estranged of. A persona overpowering the fleeting, wandering, cloud-chasing, tree-hugging, happy-when-I-am… me.
Maybe I just need a time-out and everything I wrote here will be just another interesting chapter in my time-worn journal. I always say, the sun shines the brightest after every storm, this period of exhaustion will soon be buried. The path is long, there's life and light waiting for me. It will be a long journey and life's road is not paved with diamonds.
posted by stargazer at
1:20 PM
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