walking on

So, i finally got out of work. As I've said before, I really have to move on. I am officially a bum now. Although I expect to be idle for a few weeks or maybe months, I still have my plans to pursue. As a matter of fact, i went on a trip abroad. I was very lucky to have a chance to visit Bangkok and Singapore for a few days, I walked the streets of Bangkok. More than the trip itself, it was a time to discover myself in a much more better level. I should say, it was a perfect opportunity to reflect on my life too. I am in the crossroads of my life and there's no other way to measure up your own strength than to withdraw yourself from the very source of it. Whenever I am away from home, i always challenge myself on how far I can go without my family and friends beside me. I am very much a worrier but I can say that I am carefree too at some point. I just care about my lovedones so much that I just can't stop 'worrying' about them. At some degree, I've managed to shift that to a more positive way. You can think of them and wish them well, all the time, every time but it is your duty as well to take care and look after yourself so we can all return home in one piece after a long trip away from home.

Although I can never be certain where my future holds, may it be in a happy place or not, I refuse to be a pessimist at this point. I've seen, learned and experienced a lot from this trip. I've seen grandeur, beauty, joy, modernity and serenity in these places but I also saw struggle, sorrow, poverty and pain in the eyes of those people lost in the silent chaos of this world. I feel bad for putting myself in a very low point before, depression will always be there to stab me once i'm off guard, I hope that my new found experience will rekindle my hope and determination to reach more of my goals. I hate being an idealist sometimes, it prevents me from being an average real person, an ordinary being, which indeed we all are. I want to take things slowly and one at a time. I hope my plans will push through and I hope that I may be able to endure all the circumstances that goes along with it. I am walking on...