im letting it go

I'm letting it go. Six months is reasonably enough waiting time for a dream work abroad to materialize. No, it's not going to happen soon because I'm letting it go, gone, puffftt!I'm leaving it behind now. You must be wondering because just a few entries ago, I was writing solidly about optimism, taking risks and being in pursuit of your dreams. I didn't have a change of heart, I still stand by my ideals and my goals in life remain unchanged. I'm just taking a time off from being too overly idealistic, it got me into an almost major nervous breakdown. I've realized during these very languid past six months that once in our lifetime we are to make a decision that will either make or break us. If such major decision breaks you down in the long run then expect to be shaken back to your senses right in the core and hardest part of your fall. Fools rush in, I learned it the hard way. I thought I had it all planned out, like my wardrobe neatly queued up in order, my plans carefully drafted, one by one, piece by piece, I thought I've finally began to organize my life. And then again, of course, that's what I've thought. We shape and mold our own destiny but we can never have control over the circumstances that surrounds our minute existence in this big, big world. Just like an ant, we navigate our own way in the hustle and bustle of everyday survival. For the meantime, I'll make the best out of my own space. Venturing out to a new world is a permanent possibility, the realization of dreams is a destination, life is a journey of infinite and immense possibilities, so I am moving on now. I am the wanderer, I have all the time in the world, the rush is over, I shall wander free.